Does Your Lack Of Self-Esteem Damage Your Dating?
Are your chances of dating often damaged by your lack of self-esteem? Do you sometimes meet a member of the opposite sex, or at least set eyes on one, and you think how marvellous it would be to know them, to take them out to dinner, (or be taken out).
Then you think; "Yes, but what's the point? Someone with looks like that's bound to turn me down without a second's thought.
" Now, why would that be, do you think? Where is it written in stone that the object of your desire is so beautiful/handsome that you just don't stand a chance with them? If you ask them, all you can expect is a right hook? Of course, if it's a gorgeous lady, and she's accompanied by a very large handsome man, then we must admit that your chances are somewhat lessened! Obviously, make certain that they aren't accompanied by anyone, but if they seem footloose and fancy free, they're limited to one of two words; "Yes," or "No.
" The main problem is your nervousness.
When you think about going over to someone and asking them for a dance or whether they'd like to go out to dinner the following night, and being nervous to do so, it doesn't make a lot of sense.
When all's said and done, you're the one who's paying them the compliment, not vice-versa.
But to take it a step further, and we touched on this before, just because you ask them to dance or to go out to lunch or dinner the following day, why is it that 90% of us are terrified at the thought? What it comes down to, really, is the fear of rejection.
We're scared stiff of the other person looking us up and down with a hyper-critical eye then, after about fifteen seconds, saying 'no' in a very superior voice.
Later on, when we've come out of our mortification, we find ourselves in a position to accept the insulting rejection, (unless we're of an extremely delicate frame of mind) Indeed, by the end of the evening, we may very well be in a position to approach the person and ask them why they had to be so rude.
But to be afraid of actually asking a person to dance with you or go out for a meal, is really a ridiculous emotion.
Yes, you can understand it if the object of your passion is standing there with a large spear and making threatening signs, but that isn't very likely to happen.
It boils down to a complete lack of self-esteem.
It's unlikely that the individual with plenty of self confidence will have any problem at all in making the necessary approach.
But your self-esteem must be built upon slowly and worked on every day.
Then gradually you'll find yourself improving as the weeks and months go by until you reach a stage when asking someone for a date is as easy and natural as brushing your teeth in the morning